The 59th Street Bridge and ‘Squatch Crap

If you ever need a laugh you should watch the opening credits of Zombieland:

But listen to this song while you do it:



Or you could rewrite the whole thing altogether.

Observe:

“The Cemetery-Bordering Farmhouse Song (Feelin’ Spooky)”

Slow down I can’t run fast/This virus kicked my decomposing ass/Just pounding down your boarded door/’Cause being undead makes me feel spooky…

(Ba da da da ya da me so spooky)

Hey look there’s one in the corner crying/Should I eat his brains I’m still deciding/Kid come on don’t bawl your tears are salty/Too much sodium makes my heart all cooky…

(Ba da da da ya da heart feel cooky)

One foot in my grave/One in a bear trap/Ten miles away and I smell like ‘squatch crap/Got just one loose tooth the color of dookie/And craving some gray matter acutely… 

(Ba da da da ya da mine’s all soupy)

(Ba da da da da eat brains like cookies)

(Ba da da da ya da don’t be a pussy)


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